Men's Health: the casual observers guide to "chop" jobs....

Following on from a friends blog this week, I raised a subject which for men is an irregularly talked about - that of the snip.

As a single, in the modern NHS I could get a "chop" - but apparently it requires six months worth of counselling, and really I am sure they would find much else wrong with me during those sessions, and I still like the idea that - should the need arise: I could still answer a call of patriotic duty. Plus my brother in law became a father at the age of 51, so I still have a way to go before him.

However, what amazes me mostly when this subject raises it head in male conversation, is what little my married or partnered up male friends, who often for a few weeks walk like John Wayne after a few days in the saddle, know about what they are or have let themselves in for.

So, for the casual observer, here's a few observational thoughts about getting the "chop:"

Chatting to your Doctor:

before the procedure is authorised, you need to have a chat with your GP, who can then authorise the procedure. I'd suggest you never take your wife/partner to this interview. A friend went along after work, together with his wife and three daughters. The whole family got taken into the consultation room (his wife insisted on attending), and when asked by the doctor why he wanted a "snip,", his wife retorted while breast feeding the latest one: "Because, I don't want my breasts hanging below my stomach." The doctor looked at his wife, and while signing the document replied: "I agree. Mrs Jones, we can solve that problem for you in two weeks. Give this to the receptionist."

Choosing your surgeon:

I'd thoroughly advise checking out your surgeon. While a student in Birmingham, one of the guys went along for a "lunchtime special" - he didn't come back as planned, but more of that later. When he did come into work a week later, it was a whole two weeks before the whole story came out. Turned out he dumped his first girlfriend during his teenage years in not a very thoughtful or pleasant manner. After getting his widdy way with her (these were his teenage years, so think a quick fumble), he moved on to class mate who had a bigger chest. So, turning up for his surgery, and having been shaved down below and a local anaesthetic applied, he was wheeled into the surgery. The female surgeon asked whether he had attended a particular Junior and Senior school, to which he replied yes - the surgeon, his former first girlfriend, re-introduced herself. And while she undertook the procedure with a sharp knife, they chatted through old school times.....!

Timing:

you can these days get a procedure quite quickly, often thanks to your local GP surgery. But don't make the calculation that you can get it done at lunchtime and be back in work that afternoon. True, it may be possible BUT there's no at minimum a slight tightening in the groin, and most extraordinary a lack of hair in certain parts. Often at this point, many men apparently start thinking how much hassle they have given their lady partners over making sure their "garden is in trim" - and start feeling guilty. However, there is also a slight risk of swelling. So, to get used to all these new "sensations," make sure you have it den on a Friday - that way, you have an entire weekend to recover.

Cancer risk:

according to various studies, there is a raising of both testicular and prostate cancer risks - a doubling from around 7 per 1000 to 12 per thousand. This should prove a problem but an opportunity - its just means you need a third party who knows you well in that department to inspect you regularly, at least once a month. See this instructional video for the correct medical procedure.