When marketing goes badly wrong...

In these modern times, it is often difficult to get traction for start-ups which are new into the market. Markets are crowded and there is much competition, so marketeers are forced to get more - creative. Often this leads to the use of what in modern terms be called "shock and awe" - in other words, I have too shock greatly for you (Mr/Ms Consumer) to notice my product.

Often, this leads to the use of sex in adverts - either in simile usage, or direct "do this, result: have sex:" the Lynx advert is probably the best send-up of the game which high quality perfume manufacturers and brands have been playing for a while.

However, some things don't need added sex - for instance, the radio advert for this event almost got me to drive off the motorway in shear shock. I wonder if they ask you would like milk with your tea and biscuits...?

UK immigration death sentences - targets over policy, compassion, thought, and common sence

I have always though and believed that the UK was a fair and open minded society, but I am out raged at the actions of our Labour government.

When I lived in Kent, I knew what the immigration problem was - all I needed to do was to drive to Dover from Tunbridge Wells (optionally take a Shuttle to Calais), and count the number of people trying to break into my car, or act like rabbits in front of it for a lift to London. The other option when working in Croydon was to take lunch in the High Street (where the main appeals office for UK Immigration is), and see how many times you were asked for directions. Summary: I knew there was an immigration problem before the Government announced there was one.

The outrage of the public came when the volume of these economic migrants were exposed by the Daily Mail amongst others - bastions of the middle classes. So suddenly echo's of Michael Howard-esque policy came thundering from the Home Office, as migrants were viciously pursued and sent home - firstly with large lumps of cash on BA airplanes, now with an appropriate amount of cash on a charter jet.

However, the problem of this target driven system is - it forgets the humanitarian clause, which all countries who are members of the UN sign into. I guess in the case of this lady who was suffering from cancer, that because it was only a local campaign "fair care" means dumping you in a place with no care; where as the case for this young man who is also most likely condemned to a death sentence, is worthy of Home Secretary review.

I can't see that personally either case is deserving of a target driven death sentence on behalf of my country - but apparently, policy is driven by the media and the Government have lost it in their targets.

Please don't ask me why I can't vote Labour at the next election - I don't have pockets financially deep enough to afford the moral and humanitarian cost of them any more

Only 35% can buy 8Mb ADSL broadband, and NO ONE can get it

This story in the news is interesting. Effectively it says.....

ADSL technology can't beat the laws of physics

But, more complexly it says.......

Your service provider, if you are buying 8Mb ADSL broadband, is lying to you

But actually, does it really matter? Well, yes, because as business people and consumers what it says is both good and bad.......

ADSL broadband is now so widely available with reasonable coverage at good competitive prices (good), that the sellers of such services to gain a competitive advantage are lying to their (potential) customers (bad)

One of the reasons that Post Offices are closing is this wide availability of ADSL broadband - you no longer need to sign on or tax your car (how ever expensive the new taxes are), at your Post Office - you can now do that online. This is possible because of ADSL broadband. Unfortunately, ADSL can't break the laws of physics - nor can the mobile phone networks: so much as thought it all works well in Bayswater, neither do in the centre of a mid-Wales valley.

I think the government need to do two things.......

1. Agree fair rules about the marketing of broadband. I think that will mean a disclaimer clause like those at the end of an investment advert, that explains that "markets fluctuate, and you may not get what you put back in;" the ADSL one would say that only x% of the population can get 8Mb ADSL, and actually you won't get 8Mb during peak traffic times

2. Agree an investment policy re rural services. This should include the creation of multi-functional premises - shops, post office, pub, etc in one place; and all should include a "hole in the wall" machine, a surf café and a mobile phone mast. If such an investment is not made, then any policy which claims to be green or rural is bunkum

Physics and being honest with consumers/voters - the way to save the rural communities!

Asda's in Aberpandy this Saturday?

One thing that people never get about rugby in Wales, is that its not just a sport - its taken as seriously and as part of the fabric of life as a religion. Its a fair summary to say that if Wales lose on Saturday, it could be the best days weather in history - and Cardiff would still be like a wet and dank morgue. Win, and who cares about the rain ...... :)

My reintroduction to this fact was sitting on Radyr station a few years ago, when Wales were playing Scotland in Cardiff. Two little old ladies, one with a walking stick and the second with a Zimer frame, came bouncing down the platform wearing obligatory scarves discussing the detailed tactical intricacies of the present three quarter line versus the classic one of the 1970's...... ;)

Not to be left out at any point when a rugby event occurs, BBC Wales long ago invented the fictional valleys village of Aberpandy. As the Welsh like all celts have a fairly robust sense of humour, Aberpandy is what the PC English would call politically incorrect - much like a Welsh-set recreation of Ashes to Ashes, it includes blonde barmaids, men in tweed who drink beer; and the centre of life and culture is the rugby club. The present Aberpandy advert for BBC Wales coverage of the grand slam decider against France includes a man hitting his Peugeot with a large stick, and women getting excited about another Welsh try.

This classic of Aberpandy is from last years series for the Rugby World Cup coverage - but it does look like a recreation of what my local Asda's will be like at 17:00.


PS: And just in case you thought this was just a male PC phenomenon, look here - shot in the Hilton 4star hotel in Cardiff!

Property investment and financial planning ........ the NHS way!

I love this story.

In background, after stealing £104,000 over three years, NHS GP's Practice Manager Dawn Beynon, 45, was caught out in September 2007 while on a £13,000 Caribbean cruise with her husband and three children, two of whom had been privately educated. The five doctors in the 8,000 patient NHS practice commented that they had simply allowed Beynon to look after the accounts "while they got on with treating patients" - hence why she got away with cheque fraud for three years!

The new case is for recovery of the proceeds of crime - in other words, the gain on the five property portfolio she had created with the money she had stolen.

Questions.......

Does it make you worry that £30kpa disapearing out of an NHS account wasn't spotted by the auditors or the owners/doctors?

Would the alarm bells have been ringing in your mind, if in your business your £30kpa practise manager started taking £13,000 cruises as standard holidays?

How much of a medal does the judge deserve? If she does serve time in jail for non-payment of the £250k, that will be just an additional punishment

And finally: what has it come to when NHS staff build their "property is king/though must have property" portfolio's to wash their stolen gains?

Whatever the answers, the morale of story: sometimes, there is justice!

How do you spend £50k pa on taxis? Join an RDA.....

Something that amazed me when I first moved back to Wales was the reliance on grant based business culture:

Need to put a business plan together? Then there's a grant for that....

Need to a financial review? There's a grant for that....

Need to employ staff? There's a grant for that....

Need to train those staff? There's a grant for that....

Need to media launch your new business? There's a grant for that....

Want to make sure your carbon emissions are low, now or again next year? There's a grant for them both, and you can have another grant every year!

The grant culture is so endemic at times here, that its surprising that anything gets off the ground, and the first thing potential customer companies ask is - is there a grant for that? I recently advised an Ecademist to avoid the training sector in Wales - its so Euro grant reliant, there are three times as many registered trainers in South Wales as there are in the Bristol market, which is twice its economic scale

I had a conversation with a lady in a well know local authorities business development team nine months ago about available office premises in her area. Her response: I'm sorry, I can't tell you what premises are available at present, only because I am instructed to send you a form to apply for a grant, and the consultant you employ can tell you!

I was always impressed by Sussex Enterprise when I lived in Kent, the local merger in Sussex of the RDA, Council and Chambers of Commerce into one business focused agency and club: if you did business in Sussex, it was and probably still is the thing to join. I always wondered until now why Kent didn't have a similar set-up - now I know what went on at SEEDA!

Grants - are they helpful to business culture, or not? I think in theory probably yes, but in application its a kind of pigs feasting breakfast, with poorly defined objectives which are rarely measured.

Hint - wash before you interview (I am amazed I ever had to write that)

This article from leading sector publication Recruiter magazine from a REC survey got me thinking - who turns up for an interview before washing?

Personal hygiene has been cited as a key problem among job hunters with 47% of recruiters questioned that they had received negative feedback from employers on this, according to a survey by the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (REC). The survey also revealed anecdotes such as a candidate turning up in a ball gown for an interview with a fashion company, another candidate claimed he was very proficient at Sony PlayStation, several candidates tried to charm their interviewer by offering them sweets and one candidate was too vain to wear her glasses at interview and mistook a cupboard for the exit on her way out. Almost all respondents (93%) had received feedback from employers about a job hunter's interview appearance with 16-20 year olds identified as the worst offenders for dressing inappropriately. Casual clothing was an issue according to 63% of recruiters with one-in-four (23%) mentioning inappropriate footwear, one in three (29%) citing revealing clothing and one in five (19%), excessive jewellery.

I think the best I have had so far are the motorcyclist who got wet in his dry suit (lovely wet patch under his £500 suit jacket), and the guy who had just eatten Chinese noddles for the first time in ages - and had splattered sauce all over his shirt, jacket, trousers, hair, shoe's......

And they wonder why I had out an interview preparation sheet before I ever send anyone for interview...... ;)

The difference between - the UK and the USA?

Theodore Roosevelt, 26th U.S. President of the United States said....

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

I am personally convinced that if this one statement can, these few words sum up the difference between the USA and the UK.

But does it also summarise the difference between the entrepreneur and the corporate lifer? And is it why so many that fail in corporate life, succeed in their own business? These types are difficult to manage, as they constantly challenge - but its why they float so well on the ocean.

Thoughts? And what about the Aussies...... ;)