I loved this piece of video - just shows how dumb people can be, and how intelligent some inanimate objects are! I love the airbag going off in the second sequence, and the airbag smoke coming out of the rear door when he opens it......!
What next - the tyre biting cone, or the serrated edge yellow line?
I just wonder how one of those ambulance chasing injury lawyers would argue this one: "My client was so stupid, he thought the inanimate object wouldn't hurt him - even though yes, he passed two eight foot high luminous no entry signs marking the bus only lane; and yes, he did also missed the written warning signs for the raising cones!"
Wednesday 26 September 2007
Friday 7 September 2007
Thankfully, my Porsche blew up.....
Oh joy of joys - late Saturday night and in need of some relief, I pushed the button and: nothing happened. Try again - still nothing. Try replacing a fuse or two and - still nothing happened.
Great moment of joy as one realises that, much as though making a cup of coffee will be more like a boy scout adventure tonight, at last my Porsche designed kettle by Siemens had blown up and could be replaced
I bought it mainly because it had "designed by F.A.O Porsche" written in very small designer writing along the edge - it also looked very designer. Oh, and as my partner of the time pointed out with a woman's keen eye, it was a kitchen essential.
I know that all that wonderful expectation disappeared once it moved towards the kitchen sink tap for the first brew - and it was down hill for ever afterwards:
It was a complete disaster to fill
If you over filled it, the water frothed out of the top like Mount Vesuvius
It poured, at best, like an old desert spring - weakly, irregularly and unpredictably
Living in a hard water area, it needed regular descaling
Lime deposits quickly took the sparkle off of the outer surface - less designer, more dirty
Allowing friends or my mother to make any drink was a disaster - I almost felt I needed to instruct them on its horrors, and gain extra insurance to cover the resultant liabilities
I hoped when I moved it would stop working - but after 6months in Wales, it eventually did the honourable thing on Saturday night. Sunday morning I was at Comet when it opened at 10:30 so I could replace it with a decent non-designer Russell Hobbs - the undoubted Ford/GM of UK Kettle brands. But it is a pleasure to own something which actually does what it should - pouring is now a pleasure!
This whole adventure means that, if I ever do decide to splash out on a designer car, I may well head to the Ferrari garage - and blow to those Italian electrical wobbles!
On a more serious note, what designer brands have you bought and been disappointed by, but kept using because they were, well - designer brands that had cost you a fortune?
Great moment of joy as one realises that, much as though making a cup of coffee will be more like a boy scout adventure tonight, at last my Porsche designed kettle by Siemens had blown up and could be replaced
I bought it mainly because it had "designed by F.A.O Porsche" written in very small designer writing along the edge - it also looked very designer. Oh, and as my partner of the time pointed out with a woman's keen eye, it was a kitchen essential.
I know that all that wonderful expectation disappeared once it moved towards the kitchen sink tap for the first brew - and it was down hill for ever afterwards:
I hoped when I moved it would stop working - but after 6months in Wales, it eventually did the honourable thing on Saturday night. Sunday morning I was at Comet when it opened at 10:30 so I could replace it with a decent non-designer Russell Hobbs - the undoubted Ford/GM of UK Kettle brands. But it is a pleasure to own something which actually does what it should - pouring is now a pleasure!
This whole adventure means that, if I ever do decide to splash out on a designer car, I may well head to the Ferrari garage - and blow to those Italian electrical wobbles!
On a more serious note, what designer brands have you bought and been disappointed by, but kept using because they were, well - designer brands that had cost you a fortune?
Too connected! The Crackberry reality....
I remember when I got my first pager - anyone who had one walked with one hip down or a large crease in their jacket, as the battery pack was that big/weighty. I also remember my first mobile - not the first model available with a car battery, but a Motorola brick that would have needed a semi-pillow sized pocket in your trousers to house it.
At the time, I embraced these pieces of technology - great fun and good business being more connected. So why is it that I just hate the day I have to embrace the phenomenon that is now termed the Crackberry? Is it because....
If you have a Crackberry, there is no message management: you are just available, 24/7. I quite like my sleep...
I don't want to spend an entire train journey looking like a less grown up version of a PSP addicted teenager - at least PSP's have a bigger screen...
Because if it was that important, then they'd call me! Perhaps people who have Crackberries just can't be trusted by those who give them to them, and resultantly everything needs to go down in writing?
If you think you can get away using your Crackberry in a meeting, then please - get a bit of respect for those who also gave up their time to be with you. You are also probably the discourteous person who has never explained why you left your mobile phone on in the same monthly meeting over the past few years, just so you could "reveal" your latest teenage fantasy mobile.....or worse, its latest ring tone.
This report by scientists on the health deficits, and this comedic News Report by a Canadian TV satirist just make me dread the day
Lesson in Life: you only need a Crackberry because - you know you just can't manage your life now! But don't think it will get any easier with one. Learn to manage your life, and those around you in business
Why do people embrace this technology - or why would you not?
At the time, I embraced these pieces of technology - great fun and good business being more connected. So why is it that I just hate the day I have to embrace the phenomenon that is now termed the Crackberry? Is it because....
If you think you can get away using your Crackberry in a meeting, then please - get a bit of respect for those who also gave up their time to be with you. You are also probably the discourteous person who has never explained why you left your mobile phone on in the same monthly meeting over the past few years, just so you could "reveal" your latest teenage fantasy mobile.....or worse, its latest ring tone.
This report by scientists on the health deficits, and this comedic News Report by a Canadian TV satirist just make me dread the day
Lesson in Life: you only need a Crackberry because - you know you just can't manage your life now! But don't think it will get any easier with one. Learn to manage your life, and those around you in business
Why do people embrace this technology - or why would you not?
Wednesday 5 September 2007
Europeans don't want to learn...
I love learning - looking at things from new perspectives, adding to a portfolio of idea's. But something has struck me in the past month which is making me think - hard.
I attended a presentation recently, from an excellent presenter - some body who I would certainly recommend others to go and see and listen to. He mentioned in his presentation that he ran both open general courses and specialist/client focused courses, over either one or up to 3days. I went up after his slot, and asked when his next general open course was in the UK: "I don't do them normally in Europe these days - I don't get enough attendee's." OK, where do you run these events then was my question? "Asia - I run them regularly in Singapore, and all around South Asia. People want to learn there, and are willing to pay - in Europe, most don't."
A couple of days later, I got an invite to a series of seminars from a global sales guru. These were either available in America, one slot in Europe - or a whole plethora of options in South East Asia. Last week, I got one of Brian Tracy's excellent newsletters, together with his latest dates list. This year he's running one seminar of one type in Europe on one day. There are alternate options in America - but I notice around 60% of his courses are to be run in The Gulf and Asia, all offering his full portfolio.
OK, now there is a debate that perhaps the Asian's have not heard about these people and their programs, and perhaps this is just simple brand extension into a new market; and perhaps there are not enough 'experts' in Asia at present to fulfil demand. But following the simple principle of "the money follows the need", then the move into Asia is logical.
The more frightening conclusion for me - not that people want to learn, but that by conclusion: the European's don't. Now personally, that's more frightening than lower wages!
I attended a presentation recently, from an excellent presenter - some body who I would certainly recommend others to go and see and listen to. He mentioned in his presentation that he ran both open general courses and specialist/client focused courses, over either one or up to 3days. I went up after his slot, and asked when his next general open course was in the UK: "I don't do them normally in Europe these days - I don't get enough attendee's." OK, where do you run these events then was my question? "Asia - I run them regularly in Singapore, and all around South Asia. People want to learn there, and are willing to pay - in Europe, most don't."
A couple of days later, I got an invite to a series of seminars from a global sales guru. These were either available in America, one slot in Europe - or a whole plethora of options in South East Asia. Last week, I got one of Brian Tracy's excellent newsletters, together with his latest dates list. This year he's running one seminar of one type in Europe on one day. There are alternate options in America - but I notice around 60% of his courses are to be run in The Gulf and Asia, all offering his full portfolio.
OK, now there is a debate that perhaps the Asian's have not heard about these people and their programs, and perhaps this is just simple brand extension into a new market; and perhaps there are not enough 'experts' in Asia at present to fulfil demand. But following the simple principle of "the money follows the need", then the move into Asia is logical.
The more frightening conclusion for me - not that people want to learn, but that by conclusion: the European's don't. Now personally, that's more frightening than lower wages!
Friday 24 August 2007
Who cares about the Chinese: when you have...
...the Indian's to be friends with?
Luke Johnson, Chairman of Channel4 and former Pizza Express guru has written one of his brilliant columns in the The Sunday Telegraph again today, entitled: "India will out pace China - in the long term"
I have always thought that India was the real star of the rising nations, and as Johnson points out the key issues:
India is the world's largest democracy - where as China is a totalitarian state, how ever many Ferrari's/Rollers they sell
India enjoys the rule of law, an independent judiciary and a framework of established property rights - the basics of a capitalist economy. Where as, who really own's anything in China except the State or the Army?
India is younger and its population is growing faster than China's. Almost 70 per cent of its population is under 35 - where as China faces the same problems as the West, with more of it's population over 50 than under 20
Johnson goes on to point out the number of Indian's who have travelled abroad and become financially independent, where these people are (there are more Indian's in Silicon Valley than American's!!), the fast expanding free media, and most importantly - the fact that, as the world has globalised in an American lead economy, they hold the key card: English is the main secondary language, and the choice of those who want to develop themselves.
True, India has problems - the key being the lack of investment in infra-structure of transport, utilities, and health care. But compared to becoming democratic, like China has: hey, those are minimal!
I have nothing but admiration for China - but I believe, like Johnson, that Indian will win out to become leader of the twenty first century: no contest.
Luke Johnson, Chairman of Channel4 and former Pizza Express guru has written one of his brilliant columns in the The Sunday Telegraph again today, entitled: "India will out pace China - in the long term"
I have always thought that India was the real star of the rising nations, and as Johnson points out the key issues:
Johnson goes on to point out the number of Indian's who have travelled abroad and become financially independent, where these people are (there are more Indian's in Silicon Valley than American's!!), the fast expanding free media, and most importantly - the fact that, as the world has globalised in an American lead economy, they hold the key card: English is the main secondary language, and the choice of those who want to develop themselves.
True, India has problems - the key being the lack of investment in infra-structure of transport, utilities, and health care. But compared to becoming democratic, like China has: hey, those are minimal!
I have nothing but admiration for China - but I believe, like Johnson, that Indian will win out to become leader of the twenty first century: no contest.
Men: never again complain about your better half having her hair done....
According to various media sources, Cherie Blair's hair cost the Labour party some £7,700 during the 2005 election to keep her "immaculately groomed."
And in case your wondering, that's £275/day.
The reason the cost was so high? Mrs Blair had a personal stylist on call. A spokesperson for the Labour party told the London Times: "So what? Mrs Blair worked fantastically hard during the election and visited more than 50 constituencies during the campaign. She is enormously popular with the party and, don't forget, we won the election."
She's also probably going to cost the men of this country a few bob this weekend, and killed a few tree's as excited women prepare to show their better halves what great value they are - well, not that we ever doubted it in the first place........... :)
And in case your wondering, that's £275/day.
The reason the cost was so high? Mrs Blair had a personal stylist on call. A spokesperson for the Labour party told the London Times: "So what? Mrs Blair worked fantastically hard during the election and visited more than 50 constituencies during the campaign. She is enormously popular with the party and, don't forget, we won the election."
She's also probably going to cost the men of this country a few bob this weekend, and killed a few tree's as excited women prepare to show their better halves what great value they are - well, not that we ever doubted it in the first place........... :)
Thursday 23 August 2007
If this is Customer Service, I just need a kitchen!
Oh the joys of moving into a new house - not only boxes, but then the aesthetics.
My new home in Wales is only three years old, but some things put in by the builders were basic/to a budget - added to by the "too much time on my hands" bodger: at times he was either inebriated or couldn't find his spirit level.
So let's change a few things, like the Utility Room and the Kitchen lights....
B&Q - on the 2nd January, I order 3complete wall cupboards, two sets of doors and a work surface to revamp my Utility room: £700. I get an agreed delivery date of Feb 17th. No phone call as promised 3days before - because, unbeknown to me, their warehouse had burnt down! The local lads turn up with their bits, but no cupboards. Call B&Q to be told about their warehouse fire, and that I will get a phone call next week - nothing. Try again - yes, we'll call you: nothing. Repeat five times with promises of "They will call you in less than an hour" - NOTHING! Call today (call eight according to my notes) to be met with a mono-tonal call centre operator who advises that it will all be delivered on 12th April - "Can I change the date, I have a meeting that day?" No sir he says, we won't give you your stuff then till 17th May and no 10% discount - in B&Q vouchers....
IKEA - I want four wall lamps for a kitchen. Now it's matching beech over yellow, so I think, where can I get four beech style wall lamps? Go to my local IKEA - just the thing I want, it's just they haven't got them in stock: "I suggest you check our online stock level service Sir before coming over next time." Check stock level a week later - they are in stock. Go over - no lamps: "That online service is useless Sir - ring first for an automated Stock Check." A week later I ring through, have an automated stock check done, then drive over and - No Stock! "You need to make sure you speak to a lighting department assistant sir" STAR - ring through, make sure I speak to a lighting department assistant, am told there is stock, go to my business meeting, turn up at IKEA - No Stock! Make Bline to customer services. "How can we help you sir?" They agree to rest the online stock check to zero so that the JIT system will reorder the lamps, and call me when they are in. Get home, stock still showing - same result 3days later. Call though, and go through STAR procedure: no they admit they have no stock, although online shows stock. I am close to Bristol, so ask the assistant (seeing as they are online showing stock) if they have stock: "Yes sir, but it's in the store room and won't be out of the store for at least 2weeks...."
If I had a choice, I would go elsewhere - NOW! But these are the products I spent time choosing/being cajoled into buying. In these modern times, and when great customer service training exists - why do we still suffer such complete failures of service?
To me, it's a reliance on systems (design by human beings who don't have to operate them) versus people training/empowerment of those at the front end. Resultantly, poor management employ people who really at times couldn't care less that you were paying their wages: because the cheque always shows up, and some other mug will be along later with their loaded credit card....
My new home in Wales is only three years old, but some things put in by the builders were basic/to a budget - added to by the "too much time on my hands" bodger: at times he was either inebriated or couldn't find his spirit level.
So let's change a few things, like the Utility Room and the Kitchen lights....
If I had a choice, I would go elsewhere - NOW! But these are the products I spent time choosing/being cajoled into buying. In these modern times, and when great customer service training exists - why do we still suffer such complete failures of service?
To me, it's a reliance on systems (design by human beings who don't have to operate them) versus people training/empowerment of those at the front end. Resultantly, poor management employ people who really at times couldn't care less that you were paying their wages: because the cheque always shows up, and some other mug will be along later with their loaded credit card....
Wednesday 22 August 2007
What does the man from British gas and UK Imigration have in common?
This one really confuses me, but:
Why is it my passport is as useful to identify myself to my Bank Manager/anyone I have known for more than 5years in the finance industry as travelling between countries?
And why do they always ask for a secondary piece of identification "such as a gas bill"?
Is British Gas now the home of UK 'identity card' policy? Why should the gas man know me as well as the man from UK Immigration, and has he done as thorough a set of checks? Does this now mean I can travel to Toremolenas on my gas bill - or any other utility bill come to that? Should I chose my gas supplier on how many people get refused under ID procedures?
If someone can answer this, I would be most grateful. It's not I don't understand money laundering requirements - but why a gas bill?
Is British Gas now the home of UK 'identity card' policy? Why should the gas man know me as well as the man from UK Immigration, and has he done as thorough a set of checks? Does this now mean I can travel to Toremolenas on my gas bill - or any other utility bill come to that? Should I chose my gas supplier on how many people get refused under ID procedures?
If someone can answer this, I would be most grateful. It's not I don't understand money laundering requirements - but why a gas bill?
Monday 20 August 2007
What do you think is the most UNPROFESSIONAL sector?
Awful customer service - bad prices - staff who are less capable than trained monkeys! What do you think is the most unprofessional market or sector?
I propose - ESTATE AGENTS! Firstly, any Tom, Dick or Harriet can set one up in the UK - no need for registration, licensing or qualifications. Secondly, they make most money by LYING and MISLEADING both sellers and buyers: you want a 3bed semi, they send you details on a 4bed flat. Thirdly, the money they make has no relationship to their expertise or effort - it could sell in a minute, it could sell in 12months. Fourthly, if they make a fowl-up of your sale/purchase - there is very limited comeback. However, I think the biggest problem is the way they value property - the proverbial three monkeys and a dice could come up with a more accurate answer!
Which profession or sector would you nominate, and why?
I propose - ESTATE AGENTS! Firstly, any Tom, Dick or Harriet can set one up in the UK - no need for registration, licensing or qualifications. Secondly, they make most money by LYING and MISLEADING both sellers and buyers: you want a 3bed semi, they send you details on a 4bed flat. Thirdly, the money they make has no relationship to their expertise or effort - it could sell in a minute, it could sell in 12months. Fourthly, if they make a fowl-up of your sale/purchase - there is very limited comeback. However, I think the biggest problem is the way they value property - the proverbial three monkeys and a dice could come up with a more accurate answer!
Which profession or sector would you nominate, and why?
Death rates on roads DOWN, except for the foreigners...
For all of those who believe and vehemently defend that speed camera's should be installed on every mile of British roads, congratulations - this article from the Sunday Times shows deaths and accidents are down.
Superb, wonderful, excellent - desired effect starting to happen. Ah - yes and no.....
However, as a Senior Police source says there were unlikely to be substantial falls in the future. "We've had seatbelts, drink-drive legislation and safer cars as three major milestones in the past couple of decades - there's nothing else to come, except changing driver behaviour." Let's dig below those statistics..
Of the all accidents on the M25, one third at minimum are Lefthook lorries just driving into UK cars. And then there's the speeding offences - around 3 a day in Kent, 4 a day in Sussex: all unprosectuted. And what about the accidents - 35fatal and 29serious in Kent in 2004, of which 14 involved foreign vehicles. The same percentage as for Lothian and Borders police - and you can't argue they have the main access point to Europe now can you?
Road safety is about design, education - and systems. So why don't we all just accept that we need to drive on the left? Put in place a re-test every 5 or 10 years (every 2years with my pilot's licence)? And than rather than all these camera's - put in place a tolling system (with booths) that charges the driver for road usage - all drivers, even the foreigners: even those that don't pay their parking fines, and won't be able to speed because they are timed between the booths - and then automatically fined, over what ever distance.
Excessive speed is wrong - particularly when the limit say X and the road conditions say something less.
Speed camera's - a nice idea that just doesn't work long term! Safety Camera Partnership - do gooders with blinkers and the wrong objectives....
Superb, wonderful, excellent - desired effect starting to happen. Ah - yes and no.....
However, as a Senior Police source says there were unlikely to be substantial falls in the future. "We've had seatbelts, drink-drive legislation and safer cars as three major milestones in the past couple of decades - there's nothing else to come, except changing driver behaviour." Let's dig below those statistics..
Of the all accidents on the M25, one third at minimum are Lefthook lorries just driving into UK cars. And then there's the speeding offences - around 3 a day in Kent, 4 a day in Sussex: all unprosectuted. And what about the accidents - 35fatal and 29serious in Kent in 2004, of which 14 involved foreign vehicles. The same percentage as for Lothian and Borders police - and you can't argue they have the main access point to Europe now can you?
Road safety is about design, education - and systems. So why don't we all just accept that we need to drive on the left? Put in place a re-test every 5 or 10 years (every 2years with my pilot's licence)? And than rather than all these camera's - put in place a tolling system (with booths) that charges the driver for road usage - all drivers, even the foreigners: even those that don't pay their parking fines, and won't be able to speed because they are timed between the booths - and then automatically fined, over what ever distance.
Excessive speed is wrong - particularly when the limit say X and the road conditions say something less.
Speed camera's - a nice idea that just doesn't work long term! Safety Camera Partnership - do gooders with blinkers and the wrong objectives....
Favourite Business Associations....
In these days of the "professional", everything is renamed and restyled - you are no longer a "house wife", you are (to reflect the PC 21st century) a "Domestic Engineer." (NB: yet another downgrade for the word "engineer" in the UK - turn up with a dish cloth, don't worry about the degree or five years of post-grad work! I hence prefer the term "Domestic God/Godess")
However, the ultimate take on professionalism must surely be the creation of a professional society or body. This defines standards of operations and membership, and represents members interests and rights en-masse to Government, media and influential bodies.
Now, some of these associations are small and stay away from the publicity lime light - but the American-esque "scare-the-UK" media, having run us around on some really serious goose-chases, now seems to be using these professional bodies as stories legitimisers - take Jamie Oliver and school meals, and the highlighting of the work of LACA. You mean you have never heard of these galant people? LACA - The Local Authority Catering Association.
My favourite for some time now has been BWAHDA - The British Warm Air Handrier Association (I must spend far too much time in motorway services!). A quick internet search won't reveal thier website on page one - but it does tell you that "Wahda Bwahda" is a song written by Ali Ashair and composed by Samir Kobty.
What's your favourite professional organisation - and why?
However, the ultimate take on professionalism must surely be the creation of a professional society or body. This defines standards of operations and membership, and represents members interests and rights en-masse to Government, media and influential bodies.
Now, some of these associations are small and stay away from the publicity lime light - but the American-esque "scare-the-UK" media, having run us around on some really serious goose-chases, now seems to be using these professional bodies as stories legitimisers - take Jamie Oliver and school meals, and the highlighting of the work of LACA. You mean you have never heard of these galant people? LACA - The Local Authority Catering Association.
My favourite for some time now has been BWAHDA - The British Warm Air Handrier Association (I must spend far too much time in motorway services!). A quick internet search won't reveal thier website on page one - but it does tell you that "Wahda Bwahda" is a song written by Ali Ashair and composed by Samir Kobty.
What's your favourite professional organisation - and why?
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