Who cares about the Chinese: when you have...

...the Indian's to be friends with?

Luke Johnson, Chairman of Channel4 and former Pizza Express guru has written one of his brilliant columns in the The Sunday Telegraph again today, entitled: "India will out pace China - in the long term"

I have always thought that India was the real star of the rising nations, and as Johnson points out the key issues:

India is the world's largest democracy - where as China is a totalitarian state, how ever many Ferrari's/Rollers they sell

India enjoys the rule of law, an independent judiciary and a framework of established property rights - the basics of a capitalist economy. Where as, who really own's anything in China except the State or the Army?

India is younger and its population is growing faster than China's. Almost 70 per cent of its population is under 35 - where as China faces the same problems as the West, with more of it's population over 50 than under 20

Johnson goes on to point out the number of Indian's who have travelled abroad and become financially independent, where these people are (there are more Indian's in Silicon Valley than American's!!), the fast expanding free media, and most importantly - the fact that, as the world has globalised in an American lead economy, they hold the key card: English is the main secondary language, and the choice of those who want to develop themselves.

True, India has problems - the key being the lack of investment in infra-structure of transport, utilities, and health care. But compared to becoming democratic, like China has: hey, those are minimal!

I have nothing but admiration for China - but I believe, like Johnson, that Indian will win out to become leader of the twenty first century: no contest.

Men: never again complain about your better half having her hair done....

According to various media sources, Cherie Blair's hair cost the Labour party some £7,700 during the 2005 election to keep her "immaculately groomed."

And in case your wondering, that's £275/day.

The reason the cost was so high? Mrs Blair had a personal stylist on call. A spokesperson for the Labour party told the London Times: "So what? Mrs Blair worked fantastically hard during the election and visited more than 50 constituencies during the campaign. She is enormously popular with the party and, don't forget, we won the election."

She's also probably going to cost the men of this country a few bob this weekend, and killed a few tree's as excited women prepare to show their better halves what great value they are - well, not that we ever doubted it in the first place........... :)

If this is Customer Service, I just need a kitchen!

Oh the joys of moving into a new house - not only boxes, but then the aesthetics.

My new home in Wales is only three years old, but some things put in by the builders were basic/to a budget - added to by the "too much time on my hands" bodger: at times he was either inebriated or couldn't find his spirit level.

So let's change a few things, like the Utility Room and the Kitchen lights....

B&Q - on the 2nd January, I order 3complete wall cupboards, two sets of doors and a work surface to revamp my Utility room: £700. I get an agreed delivery date of Feb 17th. No phone call as promised 3days before - because, unbeknown to me, their warehouse had burnt down! The local lads turn up with their bits, but no cupboards. Call B&Q to be told about their warehouse fire, and that I will get a phone call next week - nothing. Try again - yes, we'll call you: nothing. Repeat five times with promises of "They will call you in less than an hour" - NOTHING! Call today (call eight according to my notes) to be met with a mono-tonal call centre operator who advises that it will all be delivered on 12th April - "Can I change the date, I have a meeting that day?" No sir he says, we won't give you your stuff then till 17th May and no 10% discount - in B&Q vouchers....

IKEA - I want four wall lamps for a kitchen. Now it's matching beech over yellow, so I think, where can I get four beech style wall lamps? Go to my local IKEA - just the thing I want, it's just they haven't got them in stock: "I suggest you check our online stock level service Sir before coming over next time." Check stock level a week later - they are in stock. Go over - no lamps: "That online service is useless Sir - ring first for an automated Stock Check." A week later I ring through, have an automated stock check done, then drive over and - No Stock! "You need to make sure you speak to a lighting department assistant sir" STAR - ring through, make sure I speak to a lighting department assistant, am told there is stock, go to my business meeting, turn up at IKEA - No Stock! Make Bline to customer services. "How can we help you sir?" They agree to rest the online stock check to zero so that the JIT system will reorder the lamps, and call me when they are in. Get home, stock still showing - same result 3days later. Call though, and go through STAR procedure: no they admit they have no stock, although online shows stock. I am close to Bristol, so ask the assistant (seeing as they are online showing stock) if they have stock: "Yes sir, but it's in the store room and won't be out of the store for at least 2weeks...."

If I had a choice, I would go elsewhere - NOW! But these are the products I spent time choosing/being cajoled into buying. In these modern times, and when great customer service training exists - why do we still suffer such complete failures of service?

To me, it's a reliance on systems (design by human beings who don't have to operate them) versus people training/empowerment of those at the front end. Resultantly, poor management employ people who really at times couldn't care less that you were paying their wages: because the cheque always shows up, and some other mug will be along later with their loaded credit card....

What does the man from British gas and UK Imigration have in common?

This one really confuses me, but:

Why is it my passport is as useful to identify myself to my Bank Manager/anyone I have known for more than 5years in the finance industry as travelling between countries?

And why do they always ask for a secondary piece of identification "such as a gas bill"?

Is British Gas now the home of UK 'identity card' policy? Why should the gas man know me as well as the man from UK Immigration, and has he done as thorough a set of checks? Does this now mean I can travel to Toremolenas on my gas bill - or any other utility bill come to that? Should I chose my gas supplier on how many people get refused under ID procedures?

If someone can answer this, I would be most grateful. It's not I don't understand money laundering requirements - but why a gas bill?

What do you think is the most UNPROFESSIONAL sector?

Awful customer service - bad prices - staff who are less capable than trained monkeys! What do you think is the most unprofessional market or sector?

I propose - ESTATE AGENTS! Firstly, any Tom, Dick or Harriet can set one up in the UK - no need for registration, licensing or qualifications. Secondly, they make most money by LYING and MISLEADING both sellers and buyers: you want a 3bed semi, they send you details on a 4bed flat. Thirdly, the money they make has no relationship to their expertise or effort - it could sell in a minute, it could sell in 12months. Fourthly, if they make a fowl-up of your sale/purchase - there is very limited comeback. However, I think the biggest problem is the way they value property - the proverbial three monkeys and a dice could come up with a more accurate answer!

Which profession or sector would you nominate, and why?

Death rates on roads DOWN, except for the foreigners...

For all of those who believe and vehemently defend that speed camera's should be installed on every mile of British roads, congratulations - this article from the Sunday Times shows deaths and accidents are down.

Superb, wonderful, excellent - desired effect starting to happen. Ah - yes and no.....

However, as a Senior Police source says there were unlikely to be substantial falls in the future. "We've had seatbelts, drink-drive legislation and safer cars as three major milestones in the past couple of decades - there's nothing else to come, except changing driver behaviour." Let's dig below those statistics..

Of the all accidents on the M25, one third at minimum are Lefthook lorries just driving into UK cars. And then there's the speeding offences - around 3 a day in Kent, 4 a day in Sussex: all unprosectuted. And what about the accidents - 35fatal and 29serious in Kent in 2004, of which 14 involved foreign vehicles. The same percentage as for Lothian and Borders police - and you can't argue they have the main access point to Europe now can you?

Road safety is about design, education - and systems. So why don't we all just accept that we need to drive on the left? Put in place a re-test every 5 or 10 years (every 2years with my pilot's licence)? And than rather than all these camera's - put in place a tolling system (with booths) that charges the driver for road usage - all drivers, even the foreigners: even those that don't pay their parking fines, and won't be able to speed because they are timed between the booths - and then automatically fined, over what ever distance.

Excessive speed is wrong - particularly when the limit say X and the road conditions say something less.

Speed camera's - a nice idea that just doesn't work long term! Safety Camera Partnership - do gooders with blinkers and the wrong objectives....

Favourite Business Associations....

In these days of the "professional", everything is renamed and restyled - you are no longer a "house wife", you are (to reflect the PC 21st century) a "Domestic Engineer." (NB: yet another downgrade for the word "engineer" in the UK - turn up with a dish cloth, don't worry about the degree or five years of post-grad work! I hence prefer the term "Domestic God/Godess")

However, the ultimate take on professionalism must surely be the creation of a professional society or body. This defines standards of operations and membership, and represents members interests and rights en-masse to Government, media and influential bodies.

Now, some of these associations are small and stay away from the publicity lime light - but the American-esque "scare-the-UK" media, having run us around on some really serious goose-chases, now seems to be using these professional bodies as stories legitimisers - take Jamie Oliver and school meals, and the highlighting of the work of LACA. You mean you have never heard of these galant people? LACA - The Local Authority Catering Association.

My favourite for some time now has been BWAHDA - The British Warm Air Handrier Association (I must spend far too much time in motorway services!). A quick internet search won't reveal thier website on page one - but it does tell you that "Wahda Bwahda" is a song written by Ali Ashair and composed by Samir Kobty.

What's your favourite professional organisation - and why?