If this is Customer Service, I just need a kitchen!

Oh the joys of moving into a new house - not only boxes, but then the aesthetics.

My new home in Wales is only three years old, but some things put in by the builders were basic/to a budget - added to by the "too much time on my hands" bodger: at times he was either inebriated or couldn't find his spirit level.

So let's change a few things, like the Utility Room and the Kitchen lights....

B&Q - on the 2nd January, I order 3complete wall cupboards, two sets of doors and a work surface to revamp my Utility room: £700. I get an agreed delivery date of Feb 17th. No phone call as promised 3days before - because, unbeknown to me, their warehouse had burnt down! The local lads turn up with their bits, but no cupboards. Call B&Q to be told about their warehouse fire, and that I will get a phone call next week - nothing. Try again - yes, we'll call you: nothing. Repeat five times with promises of "They will call you in less than an hour" - NOTHING! Call today (call eight according to my notes) to be met with a mono-tonal call centre operator who advises that it will all be delivered on 12th April - "Can I change the date, I have a meeting that day?" No sir he says, we won't give you your stuff then till 17th May and no 10% discount - in B&Q vouchers....

IKEA - I want four wall lamps for a kitchen. Now it's matching beech over yellow, so I think, where can I get four beech style wall lamps? Go to my local IKEA - just the thing I want, it's just they haven't got them in stock: "I suggest you check our online stock level service Sir before coming over next time." Check stock level a week later - they are in stock. Go over - no lamps: "That online service is useless Sir - ring first for an automated Stock Check." A week later I ring through, have an automated stock check done, then drive over and - No Stock! "You need to make sure you speak to a lighting department assistant sir" STAR - ring through, make sure I speak to a lighting department assistant, am told there is stock, go to my business meeting, turn up at IKEA - No Stock! Make Bline to customer services. "How can we help you sir?" They agree to rest the online stock check to zero so that the JIT system will reorder the lamps, and call me when they are in. Get home, stock still showing - same result 3days later. Call though, and go through STAR procedure: no they admit they have no stock, although online shows stock. I am close to Bristol, so ask the assistant (seeing as they are online showing stock) if they have stock: "Yes sir, but it's in the store room and won't be out of the store for at least 2weeks...."

If I had a choice, I would go elsewhere - NOW! But these are the products I spent time choosing/being cajoled into buying. In these modern times, and when great customer service training exists - why do we still suffer such complete failures of service?

To me, it's a reliance on systems (design by human beings who don't have to operate them) versus people training/empowerment of those at the front end. Resultantly, poor management employ people who really at times couldn't care less that you were paying their wages: because the cheque always shows up, and some other mug will be along later with their loaded credit card....