Customer Service holes...... o2/DHL

I have, for a while, been thinking of upgrading my mobile telephone to a Blackberry from my reliable Nokia 6310i. Now, you may be surprised that a techno-geek business person hasn't yet upgraded to Blackberry, but the reasons are simply: (a) I am horribly loyal to Nokia (B) all the Blackberry's have awful audio characteristics! OK, there are Nokia options, but they are not as good as the Blackberry's at Blackberrying

So, last Thursday, I ordered a Blackberry Curve in silver, on a new tariff from o2. "Your phone will be with you Sir in 3/5 working days." On the next day, Friday, I went to my normal breakfast meeting and Mr DHL tried to deliver the parcel, so leaves note. At this point, you could call this fantastic service.....

As I was away from the weekend, I didn't pick the note up until Tuesday. I ring the number, and Mr DHL says: "I've left it with your neighbour." Fine, which one says I "I don't know! But I did leave it with him - not sure of the house name or number, but it was a bloke..."

At this point, I should add some background. In my days in the cost reduction market, one of the area's we addressed was - couriers. Turns out some have more "seepage" on certain small but high value items which are easier cashed, like - for instance: mobile phones. The worst ones were the networks using contract couriers, where seepage rates reached 50% on some routes.....

So, after calling the neighbours Mr DHL thinks he might have left it with without success, I call o2. Having explained the background, the lady says: "Well, its delivered, and they left it with Mr Gubby." Who's says I "well, he lives at your house. It distinctly says home delivered over dropped with neighbour." After explaining I am happily straight, and don't know a Mr Gubby, and that Mr DHL says he left it with someone else (to which she says its hence not o2's fault - well, guess I better complain to Vodafone then....); she rings Mr DHL who says he'll come round - some time in the next few days! But, until he does, they can't replace my phone....

I ring Mr DHL, who turns out to be - Mr Contract Courier! He knows exactly where he left it, except he can't remember the number of the house, but does now remember it was left with Mr Gubby. I ring o2 again, and am told that as its after 18:00 they can't do anything until tomorrow, and their policy is that the package can only be dropped with immediate neighbours - Nope, Mr Contract Courier failed on that one! I decide to use a bit of coercion - so I walk round every house in the estate, all 60, with my DHL card and a bottle of wine: the keeper of my phone gets a bottle of wine, and its a decent £20 bottle I have had for a while. And you know what, even though its a decent bottle of wine, no one has my phone, let alone knows a blonde Mr Gubby....

Boy, am I pissed off! Turns out its not o2's fault, but I can't have another phone until Mr DHL (actually, Mr Contract Courier who doesn't follow o2 policy) has confirmed the phone is not delivered - which he has already stated on his delivery note to o2, but not on the card he left me.

I think they may have a customer service problem.....

Todays update: At 22:10 last night (yes, you read that correctly....) Mr Contract Courier rings me to advise it was Mr Chris Guppy of No.53 who took delivery of my new 02 phone. Having rung there last night with no success (its a rental property), I did the same this morning without success "He's on holiday - or possibly moved!" Come back, ring o2, who agree to deliver a new Blackberry - but, I will be charged if I can't recover the Blackberry at No.53. No says I "well, that's DHL's policy - if you know where the phone is, its your responsibility to recover it." And there was I thinking I had a contract from o2, where in actual fact I have a random delivery policy from DHL - wonders never cease!

NatWest (not) Customer Service....

After a three year+ pursuit, I bought the dot.com of a dot.co.uk domain I have held for six years from a Texan based American, through German internet exchange Sedo GmbH for the sum of $5000. After investigating the option of buying the wrap-around company in which the domain was held, for various legal and financial reasons it proved wiser just to buy the domain.

So, after suspecting Sedo would rip me off with an awful exchange rate, I was shocked to find that $5000 was transposed into £2521 UK Sterling - almost better than the markets! Now I just had to get the money to Germany.......

Day1/Sunday: call NatWest, and am advised I need to go to branch to wire transfer money

Day2: go to local branch with NatWest card. Fillout long three page form - am advised after filling out form I need ID to avoid money laundering

Day3: return with request ID (having been advised it would be OK, I use my flying license as opposed to my driving license or passport - fewer pilots in the world) but am told must have driving license or passport

Day5: return to branch with passport - a red one with no electronic tag. Told it is not acceptable as not electronic!!!

Day6: ring Natwest customer services, and am advised that two NatWest cards plus pilots license plus passport plus a recent (less than 3months) NatWest statement plus a council tax bill would be sufficient ID to pass money laundering

Day9: return to branch to find that manager I had dealt with at branch is now on holiday. Refill out three page form, then advised by relief manager that the bundle of ID I have is still not sufficient - oh, but would I like to deposit the money I was banking in a new gold account to earn more interest? I pass on the opportunity of a Harvey Smith special, but am advised that although they have been called by the centralised customer services team, a call from my branch from someone I know (right - like any of their staff stay around for more than 6months...!) it "could help!" On asking where clearing for the order is done, am advised via Fax to Bristol. Where says I - your head office? I know where that is....

Day10 (this morning): having been advised over night by WesternUnion and Travelex that they can do an order on back of my Visa card and a NatWest statement (no need for a passport), I decide to give NatWest one more try. Ring my branch - the number has changed yet again! Ring new number, no one available so am transfered automatically to centralised customer service team again. Speak to very nice (tired) lady who says: Don't worry, as a special customer we do that sort of thing over the phone! 2mins later sum is transfered direct to Germany

If you want customer service, or consistency, then don't go to NatWest - flippin awful!