Thankfully, my Porsche blew up.....

Oh joy of joys - late Saturday night and in need of some relief, I pushed the button and: nothing happened. Try again - still nothing. Try replacing a fuse or two and - still nothing happened.

Great moment of joy as one realises that, much as though making a cup of coffee will be more like a boy scout adventure tonight, at last my Porsche designed kettle by Siemens had blown up and could be replaced

I bought it mainly because it had "designed by F.A.O Porsche" written in very small designer writing along the edge - it also looked very designer. Oh, and as my partner of the time pointed out with a woman's keen eye, it was a kitchen essential.

I know that all that wonderful expectation disappeared once it moved towards the kitchen sink tap for the first brew - and it was down hill for ever afterwards:

It was a complete disaster to fill

If you over filled it, the water frothed out of the top like Mount Vesuvius

It poured, at best, like an old desert spring - weakly, irregularly and unpredictably

Living in a hard water area, it needed regular descaling

Lime deposits quickly took the sparkle off of the outer surface - less designer, more dirty

Allowing friends or my mother to make any drink was a disaster - I almost felt I needed to instruct them on its horrors, and gain extra insurance to cover the resultant liabilities

I hoped when I moved it would stop working - but after 6months in Wales, it eventually did the honourable thing on Saturday night. Sunday morning I was at Comet when it opened at 10:30 so I could replace it with a decent non-designer Russell Hobbs - the undoubted Ford/GM of UK Kettle brands. But it is a pleasure to own something which actually does what it should - pouring is now a pleasure!

This whole adventure means that, if I ever do decide to splash out on a designer car, I may well head to the Ferrari garage - and blow to those Italian electrical wobbles!

On a more serious note, what designer brands have you bought and been disappointed by, but kept using because they were, well - designer brands that had cost you a fortune?